Bottom 8th: Pirates at Phillies

The announced attendance is 4,052.

That's not a typo.

There aren’t 4,052 legs here, let alone 4,052 people. This place is as busy as a blast furnace company working in the bowels of hell. There was nobody here at 1:05 p.m. and there’s nobody here now.

Oh yeah, I should mention that the score is now 11-5 Pirates. I'd love to tell you how it happened, but I was too busy searching for the 3,500 or so fans they've hidden somewhere in the stadium.